College: Nursing or Nothing

As mentioned in a previous post, I decided to go into nursing. I was an A student all through school and looked forward to the challenges and variety of a career in nursing.

I went to a local community college and started my Associate Degree Nursing program. I loved it- my prerequisite classes were so easy! I remained seizure free my first year of college.

When the nursing program started I definitely noticed a gradual increase in my stress levels. I would stay up all night studying, and then totally space out and not remember anything when it came time to the take the exam. I dealt with this on my own, foolishly thinking I had suddently developed test anxiety, though I was always an excellent test taker prior.

We had a test that I was particularly nervous for, so I had studied very hard over the weekend and was SO prepared to Ace. I sat down in my seat, the teacher handed me the test, and thats all I remember. I dont even think I wrote my name on it. At the end of class I was still at my desk, slumped forward, asleep. I just remember my professor waking me up and I immediately started bawling. I didnt know what to do,  I didn’t know what to say- but if I didn’t say something I would fail out of my program (yes, with a zero on 1 test). Luckily I had a very understanding professor; I told her that I must have fallen asleep because I took a Xanax before my test because I had been having really bad anxiety. She let me retake my test the next morning in a proctored exam room.

Looking back through my college notebooks (because yes, I kept some) there were several times where my writing would list off the page, or my sentences wouldn’t make sense. I even wrote a paper and in several places my professor would circle things that didnt make sesne; as in my sentences werent even logical; or I would write random song lyrics in the middle of my papers. Was this enough for me to contact anyone for help? Nope.

Nurse Amanda


Dedication, passion, and perseverenve won; I graduated nursing school with honors.


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